My friend Chap Bettis (formerly a pastor and now of The Apollos Project) has published a fantastic article on The Gospel Coalition website entitled How Churches Can Care for Their Pastor’s Children. As a pastor’s kid myself and as an assistant pastor, let me say this article is a must read for the church member. Below are the comments I posted to the website:
As a pastor’s kid and as an assistant pastor, I have to agree wholeheartedly with this article. Pastor’s kids see the church as an extension of their family. They survive best when the members of the church go out of their way to notice and “adopt” them. I know I had many surrogate parents and grandparents who loved me, took an interest in me, talked to me, prayed for me, and even helped to keep an eye on me on Sunday mornings. This not only freed up my parents to do the ministry they needed to do on Sundays, but it also helped me as an individual feel like I belonged to a larger family. I think that churches have a choice. They can let the pastor’s family feel isolated and under constant microscopic inspection, or they can step up and take in the pastor’s family as part of their own. The first option produces hypocrites or hoodlums. The second option makes the church feel so home-like that even a prodigal will have a hard time staying away.